Reckless Driver Against Self-Driving Cars

Despite his busy life in the fast lane, area man Dan Carter is courageously taking the time to bring the dangers of autonomous vehicles into the spotlight.

Speeding through an intersection and nearly knocking over a child running into the street, Carter thoughtfully noted, “You know, there’s a lot of complex information drivers have to process to make ethical decisions. How can we trust an amoral computer with making the right choice?” After honking and cursing at the child, he continued, “I’m just saying, if there aren’t human drivers at the wheel to make the final call in tricky situations, self-driving cars are going to wreak havoc on our society.”

At press time, Carter was heard yelling “Speed up, asshole!” as he nearly crashed into a car that had slowed down at a yellow light.